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Investigating the Ego


There’s a fine line between knowing the self in confidence and being ego-blinded. Something that was promoted in the New Age path is that everyone is a mirror: what triggers us is offering us an opportunity to see an unhealed wound within us. Although now I see that some external situations are just there to hurt and siphon from our energy (another topic for another day) there is still merit in the mirror theory.

This is where internal exploration is so vital. Letting down our defenses within ourselves. Exploring what makes us uncomfortable, like the triggers we feel as we interact with and witness others. That exploration can be incredibly expansive! When we lean into the trigger and ask the hard question, “am I feeling this anger, this frustration, this annoyance, because of something in me?”, what a humbling and honest way to approach our personal growth. Now, sometimes we’ll find, after leaning in, that we’re inflamed with a sincere energetic movement of our divine masculine. Wanting to honor and uphold truth with integrity, wanting to protect that truth and lead others home to that truth within them. - But that is not always the case - Sometimes we just have an inflated ego. I’ve been guilty of it. We all have! And we can only discern that if we’ve taken the time to lean into that discomfort and ask where the root begins and determine if it’s anchored into a wound.

When we do not investigate this, we fall into the ego trap. Pointing the finger at others and saying, “you’re not living your life in truth”. Deflection and avoidance at its finest. And the inflated ego that comes with it becomes a blind spot that we are not able to witness in ourselves.

This is where community and deep, connective friendship is so important. We have all the knowledge in the universe within our highest energetic body. And we have access to remembering that information when we have a deep and devoted commitment to our highest good and the good of all. But sometimes God works through others to move us into that most pure state of receptivity and honesty. The areas where we have our strongest defenses, our sturdiest walls and darkest caves, holding our wounds and protecting us from harm. Sometimes we can’t dismantle those on our own. Sometimes we can’t even see that there’s a wall or a cave there at all! The reflection of our soul sisters and brothers, whether inflaming us or being honest with us, can be the only way to move through and break down those inner defenses.

The mirror theory calls us to task. Investigating every feeling of righteous anger and frustration to examine why we feel that way - if it’s really about them, or if it’s about us - WILL lead us to Truth. It will also lead us to radical honesty within ourselves, illuminating the depths of those caves and breaking down those walls, freeing us from the shackles and confines of our deepest wounds.

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